What else do I need to add?

"Finally, Jeremy (Hardy), I'm bound by my contract to ask you to accompany Sting and the Police singing 'Roxanne'."

-Humphrey Littleton, 'I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue'

Brilliant!

Famous Thirds

As I managed to achieve this degree classification myself, I thought I would list some prominent people who graduated with a ‘Gentleman’s Third’:

Sir Alec Douglas-Home, Former Prime Minister
Barbara Castle, Former Cabinet Minister
Sir Ernest Soares, Member of Parliament
Simon Burns, MP, Chelmsford West (referred to as 'Third Degree Burns' (sic!))

Writers W. H. Auden, Lewis Carroll, Christopher Hitchens

Photographer Antony Barrington Brown

Fiona Shackleton, family lawyer (represented Sir Paul McCartney in his divorce proceedings)

Actor Hugh Laurie, TV presenters Richard Whiteley, Rory McGrath and Carol Vorderman.

A Good Game

I just learnt a new game, thanks to a post by Ping on the guestbook at actress/author Emma Kennedy's excellent website.

The game goes as follows:

1 - Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Random quotations: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your album.

3 - Go to flickr's "explore the last seven days" http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Put it all together, that's your debut album.


I really enjoyed playing that game and thought the results worked out very nicely for me:

Wiki: 'The Yorkshire Wolds'

Random Quotes: "Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain (1835 - 1910), Notebooks (1935)"

Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pgrebanier/2840842095/sizes/l/

resulting in:

Cool, eh?

Kent Reliance Building Society Executives' Remuneration

I have a mortgage with Kent Reliance Building Society. It's fine, meets my requirements and I'm very happy to have it. This makes me a member of the Society and entitles me to vote at their Annual General Meeting. But I just received voting papers and a summary of their 2007 Financial Performance. Whilst Income from Interest was £13.6m (up 12% from 2006) expenses were £8.3m, up 13% from 2006! Now, as a customer, I'm pleased that, as a mutual society, profit is not their first priority. But surely, efficient running should be a priority? That will help keep customers' costs to a minimum. (Incidentally, Assets Employed rose from £1.6B to £2.1B. Was this the metric which justifies a claim of improved year-on-year performance? If so, how does this benefit the Society's Members?)

Now, I'm not saying 'sack the management team' - within the context of the difficult financial markets, this may be a satisfactory performance. But I can't see any way in which it can be defined as impressive. Yet, if the Directors' Remuneration Report is approved by members, CEO Mike Lazenby will see his salary and fees increase by 32% from £266k to £350k and Deputy CEO Rob Procter and Financial Director Bob Scruton will see theirs rise by 33% from £166k to £220k. Regarding bonuses, Mr. Lazenby's will rise by a remarkable 131% from £16k to £37k whilst Messrs. Procter & Scruton will have to struggle through with a mere 110% increase from £10k to £22k. Finally, Messrs. Procter & Scruton's pension contributions will increase by 45% from £20k to £29k, Mr. Lazenby enjoying a more restrained 20% increase from £38k to £46k.

Now don't expect a diatribe from me on the subject of Directors' salaries being too high. No, I fully support anyone who delivers real value to shareholders or members receiving a salary that reflects the contribution they make to an organization, but I also believe that Boards Of Directors should reduce remuneration for unimpressive performance, and in situations where management significantly underperforms, dismiss for underperformance without compensation. After all, we're constantly being told that one reason why top executives receive high salaries is to compensate for the risk of dismissal. So why are the Kent Reliance Building Society's Board Of Directors proposing such significant increases in executive compensation packages?

If, next year, the KRBS can demonstrate a 32% increase in performance, I'll be the first to approve a 32% increase in Mr. Lazenby's salary, and I'll do it with a smile on my face. But, until that situation arises, I think the Directors need to come back to their Members with a more realistic remuneration proposal.

The Perfect Holiday Gift?

Spinal Tap Lives!

Spinal Tap lives and its name is Diamond Head. I just saw my loudest ever metal band - these guys Really went up to eleven! Their sound was tangible as well as audible! But I couldn't help laughing at them as they rolled out every rock cliche in the book. Just add an 18" model of Stonehenge and a dancing dwarf and the picture would be complete. And, as they asked, before performing the song of the same name, "Am I Evil?" I had to respond "Sure. Shrink-wrapped evil to go with that corporate cookie-cutter rebellion you're hawking!" I have to admit they were musically very good, but, as Huey Lewis said in 'Back To The Future', "too darn' loud". (Old fogey.)

But the band whom DH were supporting and whom I went to the Hammersmith Apollo (nee Odeon), that veritable temple of UK rock, to see were the exhumed remains of Thin Lizzy, namely John Sykes and Scott Gorham (who both played with Phil Lynott), Tommy Aldridge (who replaced original drummer Brian Downey in '97) and Francesco DiCosmo (who seems to have been a session player until recently) and I can certainly say they didn't disappoint. Much. Sykes gamely stepped up to the plate to give Lynott's vocals a run for their money in a set that contained the usual supects, including Jailbreak, Rosalie, Waiting For An Alibi and The Boys Are Back In Town, whilst the instrumentals were, to my relatively unfamiliar ear, as good as the originals (Aldridge taking us back to the heyday of heavy rock with a fine skilled, athletic drum solo, though one not quite in Carl Palmer's league!) But here I must mention my one disappointment - they didn't perform Whisky In The Jar. Why not? Was it in deference to the late Lynott? Surely not, as Sykes was willing to risk dancing on the grave of a rock legend by attempting the other classics. But, it would be churlish to focus too heavily on this omission. I would be happy to go to see them again (provided they guaranteed to serve a large shot of 'Whisky' on the night!) 7/10.

How are the mighty fallen

I went to see 70's/80's rock band Foreigner last night at the 013 Club in Tilburg. In fact, what I ended up seeing was the remains of Foreigner (actually, Mick Jones, founder, guitarist, songwiter of some of their songs) and five other guys, but I'm not complaining - they did a great set and I'd go see them again if I had the chance. But, come on, the 013 in Tilburg's not exactly Madison Square Garden or Wembley Stadium, is it? They've dropped down a rung or two on the ladder of rock renown since their glory days, I think.

The 013 was a nice, intimate, venue but had the irritating habit of insisting that you buy drinks using plastic tokens which you must obtain by putting a minimum of 10 Euro in a machine. When you only want a couple of Cokes that seems a bit of a rip-off and made me feel unnecessarily grumpy towards the venue for the extra couple of Euro they extorted from me. Bad move. If I ever go there again I'll make sure I spend the remaining tokens AND NO MORE. They've turned me from a customer into an insurgent against their evil policy.

I think being over 40 makes you much less tolerant of minor injustices like this (see #37):

http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,3604,904513,00.html#article_continue

Anyway, I wanted to discuss the band. They did all the stuff you'd expect (I'm not going to name them all - just see which songs were hits from their albums up to 'Agent Provocateur' - they did all of them) and new vocalist Kelly Hansen (Steve Tyler wannabe) did a fine job, sounding extremely like the original singer Lou Gramm on every track, and providing great entertainment (climbing down into the crowd and walking around to lead communal singing, ordering a drink at the bar mid-song, climbing precariously on speaker-stacks etc.) And, I must say, he and rhythm guitarist Tommy Gimbel were especially attentive to the lady in the wheelchair next to me in the crowd (making eyes at her, posing for photos, throwing guitar picks and a towel to her as souvenirs), although the fact that she was rather attractive may have contributed to this as much as their desire to ensure that the disabled have adequate visibility of the performance in rock venues.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun at what looked like an old folks' day out for retired roadies (more faded tour T-shirts, thinning/greying hair and pot-bellies than you could shake a stick at). It's good to know the 1970's is still alive and well and living happily in the south of Holland. As they say, the past is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Sideways - A compact film review

I can see why so many people had their hearts stolen by this film, but it didn't quite have that effect on me. This film isn't the love of my life, but it is someone sweet who you want to kiss on the top of their head and make sure they're safe. (OK, metaphor borrowed shamelessly from Auntie Shell).
Miles, Maya coaxes him to reveal, is the human embodiment of the Pinot grape:

"A hard grape to grow...thin‑skinned, temperamental, ripens early...not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and thrive even when it's neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention."

He is us. The everyman, the gentleman loser, the person who aspires to be a more successful, bigger, better person and succeeds occasionally whilst failing on a more regular basis. I found myself longing for him to sieze the moment with Maya, despite loathing him for being so inconsiderate in the first 20‑30 minutes of the film. And Jessica Hecht is simply adorable in her cameo as his ex‑wife, Victoria. She demonstrates immediately why, two years after their divorce, he's still besotted with her. Her gentleness pours out like warm crème Anglaise. Virginia Madsen is ideally‑cast as Maya ‑ the considerate, sensitive, honest, cultured, intelligent woman we Pinots need. Hmmm, perhaps this film will grow to be one of my favourites. I think I'll watch it again. Soon.

8/10 ‑ a charming film to own and enjoy with good friends.